Mahalo

After a horrendous month at work that had not quite concluded when I flew out to Hawaii for Gladys & Adrian's wedding I was more than ready for a little escapism. Spending my layover in LA talking about deferred tax assets and carve outs to the stares of normal people was not a good way to start but I think things were under control enough for me to detach a bit. After the grueling flights I got my rental car and found my hotel at my first stop in Kauai. I had always wanted to go there but I didn't do much research. I'd sorta rather be camping but that requires planning, which you are about to find out I was desparately lacking. I collapsed into bed at 11, or 5am est and was looking forward to a little lie in when they started up at 5am. Who?? The EFFEN ROOSTERS. People, this is the garden isle, not the rooster isle. Crowing their G.D. heads off. So when I could no longer fight it, I was in the car before 7am driving north not really sure where I was headed. (Actually I had in my head to search for that little tiki statue that causes greg brady's surfing mishap at Hannelai Bay). Well that would be plan B anyway. So as I drive away, the rain comes. Buckets of it. I drive though Princeville to much of the same. Drat. I recall my brother saying that there was a state park at the end of the highway (total end of the island) so after a quick breakfast and more debit and credit talk with work I continue north.

So I turn up at the end of the earth and decide to hike. I talk to a couple who plans to go the whole 11 miles and boy, are they decked out. I look at myself and wonder if this is such a good idea. I have nearly no water, poor shoes and no rain jacket. Oh well, I've come this far. So after I walk in on this girls boyfriend in the porta-potty (mortifying) I am ready to ascend the trail. Yes I say ascend cause this is a cliff trail, a rocky, muddy fiend that over the next few hours I will come to call the Punisher. So off I go, slipping into my best yoga breath and move through the rocks one with nature. I get to the first beautiful vista and decide this is well worth it. But then, I see it, out on the ocean moving my way. The rain. Oh crap. Maybe I can outrun it?? I pass a Canaidian couple older than my parents and she calls out that she's lost her glasses, have I seen them?? Nope. We chat, then I book it to try to avoid the impending down pour. The red mud is already squishing through my sandals, splattered all over me, I'm sliding all over, twist my ankle and roll down a enbankment. This is actually my idea of vacation. I climb out. The rain catches up. It pours. The Punisher laughes aloud. I'm 3 miles away from my car. It's looking fairly wet and unsafe. I crouch in crow under some leaves to shelter from the deluge. I decide its safest to retreat. I pass the Canaidians on my way back, we wave. I do a mile and pause for a break. When I resume, I hear a cracklely crunch. I look down. I've smashed her eyes glasses in the mud. I blame the Punisher. I prop them on a rock and hope they can be salvaged. I'll be back Punisher!! And next time I'm doing the whole trail.